At this stage in my career, I can pretty much do anything I want.

In fact, last week I rented out a 46,000-seat stadium (Orioles Park at Camden Yards) just so I could record a little video footage. (More on that in just a few minutes.)

So let me be blunt: ETFs suck.

And you should not invest in them.

I tell people all the time that the ETF is a primary weapon in Wall Street’s arsenal. It’s their way of selling you a ticket on the Hindenburg since most investors don’t know what the heck they’re buying into when they buy an ETF.

And the ever-growing ETF market is a minefield of risks as people seek out new ways to beat the market or trade themselves into abject poverty.

Initially, ETFs focused on indexes that provided low-cost liquid asset allocation choices to investors, but we have evolved well past that stage. In today’s market environment, if you have an ingenious idea, odds are someone has already developed an ETF to exploit it.

These ETFs are made even more exploitative by the fact that Vanguard, BlackRock, and other money managers heavily market them to us via Fox News and Facebook. The advertising is great, the sales pitch is excellent, and you will be very comfortable in the herd. For awhile.

Here’s the thing. When ETFs crash (and they will), they’ll create the mother of all profit opportunities…if you play it right.

In December of 2017, the world’s most perfect granddaughter was born in Chicago, thereby making me (if we go by the age my wife usually accuses me of acting) the youngest grandfather in the history of the world.

It was probably the only time I was happy about flying from Florida to the snow and ice along Lake Michigan, but it was hard not to burst into song as the plane came in over the frozen city that day. Thankfully I resisted that urge as my voice is so bad it could easily be labeled as a threat to public health and result in me being in jail instead of holding my first grandchild.

Recently, someone asked me how I thought I would position the investment portfolio that would help pay for her college and start in life 20 years or so from now. Naturally, her parents and I have already had this discussion, and we have begun to position the “granddaughter portfolio” to help not only with college but her entire lifetime.

You may have a kid or grandkid, or you may just want to know how to be comfortably situated 18 years down the road.

Well, if this advice is good enough for the precious baby in my life, it’s good enough for you…